


Clasped Hands

by mmmdraco



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-16
Updated: 2012-07-16
Packaged: 2017-11-10 02:00:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Himura Kenshin could be utterly unbearable. Unfortunately for Kamiya Kaoru, this was one of those times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clasped Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

There were times when Himura Kenshin was unbearable. Unfortunately for Kamiya Kaoru, the woman whose dojo he helped clean and protect in exchange for room and board, this was one of those times. Kaoru was in her favorite kimono and had let it fall a bit more loosely around the neck than normal. Any other man would have realized the slight hint of seduction, but Kenshin merely went about fanning the rice and smiling, then washing the clothes and smiling, even sweeping the main walkway and smiling. It wasn't a knowing smile, however, so Kaoru was in a bit of a bad mood all day.

Time passed, and everyone who mattered to what had become the Kamiya dojo family made their rounds through: Megumi brought a collection of spices for Kaoru to try to help improve her cooking (only adding weight to Kaoru's ill temper); Tsubame brought a small cake (which she'd obviously made herself) for Yahiko; Sanosuke once again overstayed his welcome. Others stopped by as well, and they were made to feel welcome in a round-about sort of way, though very few were willing to say anything to Kaoru about her mood and were therefore somewhat reluctant to speak altogether. Kaoru pretended not to know why.

That evening, once everyone else had gone to bed, Kaoru wrapped herself in her underkimono and went for a walk around the dojo. She made her way quietly and paused at Kenshin's room. She lay a hand softly on the thin paper of the door and whispered, "Kenshin, do you love me?"

There was no answer, but she didn't expect one. She had made this a ritual, and had never gotten an answer. She wasn't sure what kind of answer she'd like to receive sometimes... If Kenshin admitted his love for her, everything would change. She liked things as they were -- she really did -- but she always wondered, "What if?"

In a fit of wistful desperation, she slid back the paper screen. For as bold as she sometimes was, this was an unexpected turn for her. Her love for Kenshin often kept her from doing stupid things, just as it often pushed her into them. Tonight was a night of stupidity.

What Kaoru took a look through the now-open doorway, she was surprised. She had expected to see Kenshin asleep on his futon, or even keeping a sleeping watch with his sword in hand as he napped against the wall. Instead, he was kneeling in the middle of the room, his hands clenched and pressed against his knees. His face was turned down, and he was shaking slightly. Kaoru took a step into the room and slid the door shut behind her so the room was barely illuminated by the sheltered moonlight. "You heard me?"

Kenshin was slow to move, but he did nod. Kaoru pressed her back to the door. Have you heard me before?"

He nodded again and she sank to her knees. "Why have you never answered?"

At first, he could do nothing but shake his head. But, as Kaoru moved slowly to sit in front of him in shocked silence, he eventually chose words and spoke them. "I cannot be the kind of lover you deserve, Kaoru-dono. I cannot bring you the sort of life I know you desire."

Her heart ached. "But do you love me?" In the night, the soft swell of tears in her eyes went unnoticed, but Kenshin heard her sadness all the same.

His answer was soft, but the same quiet night which concealed her tears brought his answer forth. "Of course."

She bit her lip and clutched her hands to her chest. "For how long?"

"It seems like for as long as I can remember." Kenshin lifted his head and looked to her and smiled.

"You idiot!" Kaoru screamed in a whisper. "For so long, I've been unhappy because I couldn't tell you how I felt." She let her hands drop to her sides. "I've been waiting for something. Maybe this is it."

Kenshin tilted his head to one side. "This is what?"

"Time," Kaoru said. "It is time to admit our feelings, and come to terms with them. I love you, and you say you love me. What reason is there for us not to be together?"

"I cannot give you what you desire, Kaoru-done. You want a charmed life, and I'm afraid I am no magician."

Kaoru smiled and slid even further to the ground. "All this time, I had been under the impression that I was already leading a charmed life. You may not be a magician, but you brought so much in to my life. Now you are holding me back from the one thing I have left to desire and you sdo so in the name of my happiness. You've told me of your past, Kenshin. Let me be part of your future."

Kenshin had, by this point, gotten to his feet and made his way over to Kaoru's side. "Kaoru-done..." And he sank to the floor with her and gently took one of her hands, cold from the night air, into his own. "What possessions I have are already among us. Can you be so in love with me that you can stand to be my keeper?"

Kaoru smoother her free hand over the back of Kenshin's own. "Have I not been more-or-less willing the whole while you've been here with us? Something so silly! Kenshin... please, do not forget about your happiness, for my sake... and for your own."

Abashed, Kenshin smiled at Kaoru. "Then, may I kiss you?"

Kaoru felt the heat in her cheeks only after she had acquiesced to being kissed, only to be drawn further into it. Kenshin's hands strayed from Kaoru's; one coming to rest along her jaw, and the other tracing along the ridge of her spine, dipping delicately beneath the neck of her underkimono.

Kaoru separated from Kenshin by lightly touching her fingertips to his shoulders. He did the rest of the work. "Kenshin... my darling... you overwhelm me more than I can possibly say. How can I ever sleep now?"

Pulling away again, Kenshin went to the far side of the room and came back bearing a small packet. "Megumi-dono keeps giving this to me to help me sleep, but I can't bring myself to take it."

Kaoru accepted the packet, her fingers lingering on Kenshin's. "Perhaps I will have sweet dreams, if this is not in fact one of them."

Kenshin removed his hair tie and handed it to Kaoru. "Then keep this for me until morning to prove to us both than we have not imagined this in our longing for it."

Wrapping the tie around her fingers, Kaoru smiled and stood. "Then, I will see you in the morning with sweet memories of a wonderful dream that I did not dream, but lived."

Kenshin took up his sword again. "And I shall do the same."

Kaoru closed the door behind her and sank to her knees again as tears began to fall from her eyes. And as she did so, she smiled and clutched her memento-laden hands to her chest, happy to stand again and walk to her room in a sudden, happy silence.


End file.
